jokes  
jokesHome jokesRandom jokesAdvices jokesContact
  10000funnyjokes on Facebook

Joke : Prison versus housewives

Rating: 2.7/5 ( 22 votes )

In prison, you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.

At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr.

can't sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.

At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.

At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr.

To college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison, all your medical care is free.

At home, you have to pawn your mother's silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.

At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.

At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else's space, too, and what the heck is free time again?

In prison, you get your own personal toilet.

At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you're done so you can do something for them.

In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.

At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else's, and get yelled at because somebody's favorite shirt isn't clean.

In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.

At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.

At home, you have to lug around everybody else's stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.

In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn't.

At home.... stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?

Police jokes :

112 funny jokes found

- Don't say this to a cop

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn't re...

- Swerve to avoid a box

Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reck...

- Looking into their eyes

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn't help but noti...

- Dealing with criminals

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. “You just won't believe what happened thi...

- Partner takes vacation

Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation 9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thi...

- New person in prison

A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiring...

- Wife helps out the cop

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in ...

- He's drunk at the bar

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the b...

- Getting a new deputy

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. ” Oka...

- Working in the garden

A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant th...

- Catch a drunk driver

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookey thar up ahead, ...

- Prison versus housewives

In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour...

- Lost far from a home

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said...

- Dealing with a juggler

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. “What are those knives doing in your car?” asked the officer. “...

- Should have glasses

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered &ld...

Comment the joke Prison versus housewives :

Make a link to this joke :

Link on a blog :

 
Find on 10000funnyjokes.com more than 10,000 funny jokes !
©2015 10000funnyjokes.com | Copyright 10000funnyjokes | Contact | Android download | iPhone download
Mentions légales / CGU - Politique de confidentialité