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Joke : Mom would never say

Rating: 2.9/5 ( 57 votes )

Things Mom Would Never Say” How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”

“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”

“Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery”

“Let me smell that shirt Yeah, it's good for another week”

“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day”

“Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me.”

“The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here.”

“I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve”

“Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve”

Mom/dad jokes :

37 funny jokes found

- Expert on parenting

The following is a true story written by an educational psychologist and her experience on a plane. On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes f...

- Travel on the plane

For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo...

- Shopping for goods

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme...

- Kids tough question

Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son: Father, Can I ask you a question? Father: Ok ask. Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the do...

- Adults have learned

Great truths about life that adults have learnedRaising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. There is always alot to be thankful for if you tak...

- We have new babies

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother ...

- Go to the hospital

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man,...

- Naming your child

There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on bus...

- Delivering a baby

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was hom...

- Guests for dinner

The following is a true story. There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop ...

- Woman is on a bus

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: “That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. “In a huff, the woman slammed her fare ...

- Grocery shopping

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies a...

- Mothers taught us

Things My Mother Taught MeMy Mother taught me LOGIC... “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me. &rdqu...

- At the public pool

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool. ” Everyone knows, ” the mother lectured him, “that f...

- Defining teenagers

A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy ...

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