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Joke : Evolution of mom

Rating: 2.5/5 ( 41 votes )

The Evolution of Mom Yes, parenthood changes everything.

But parenthood also changes with each baby.

Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes

- 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2.d baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3.d baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name

- 1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 2.d baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right?

It might as well be you. 3.d baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls.

Bimaldo?

Perfect!

Preparing for the Birth

- 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2.d baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3.d baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

- 1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2.d baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3.d baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries

- 1st baby: At the first sign of distress

- a whimper, a frown

- you pick up the baby. 2.d baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3.d baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Activities

- 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2.d baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3.d baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

- 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 2.d baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3.d baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

- 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2.d baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3.d baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

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