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Joke : The bachelor's diet

Rating: 1.9/5 ( 33 votes )

Bachelor's DietMONDAY: BREAKFAST

- Who can eat breakfast on a Monday?

Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH

- Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents.

Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

AFTERNOON SNACK

- Drink the maaloxDINNER

- Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

TUESDAY: BREAKFAST

- Eat the coleslawLUNCH

- Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

DINNER

- Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

WEDNESDAY: BREAKFAST

- Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's LUNCH

- Rolaids and a cokeDINNER

- Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps THURSDAY: BREAKFAST

- Order out for pizzaLUNCH

- Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

DINNER

- Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

FRIDAY: BREAKFAST

- Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds.

Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food.

It tastes better and it's better for you.

LUNCH

- Skip lunch, Fridays are murder DINNER

- Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus.

Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

SATURDAY: BREAKFAST

- Sleep through it.

LUNCH

- DittoDINNER

- Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts.

Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts.

Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

SUNDAY: BREAKFAST

- Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

LUNCH

- Eat Lunch?

Waste a good buzz?

Dont eat Lunch.

DINNER

- Chicken noodle soup

- Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.

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