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Joke : Food quotes and quips

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Food quotes, quips, and thoughts ... ” Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps.

Have the shrimp cocktail instead. ” Miss Piggy” The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers.

The original meal has never been found. ” Sam Levinson” This recipe is certainly silly.

It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them. ” Gracie Allen” I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades.

I've lost a total of 789 pounds.

By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. ” Erma Bombeck” I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills.

Know what happened?

I ate faster. ” Joe E.

Lewis” I will not eat oysters.

I want my food dead not sick, not wounded dead.

“Woody Allen” Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ” Fran Lebowitz” Health food makes me sick. ” Calvin Trillin” Watermelon it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. ” Enrico Caruso” Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get. ” Robert Orben

Food jokes :

31 funny jokes found

- A practical joke involving jello

Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party: A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food col...

- Improving fry cooking time

In January 1994, 'The Economist' magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O'Leary's success stories about government research scientist...

- You should learn to be more polite

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself...

- Constantly complaining about the temperature

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it b...

- The family of tomatoes

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the b...

- Food one-liners

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called “The Fission Chips. ” On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the panc...

- You can now eat your own plate

Taipei, Taiwan (AP) - Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further - eat the plate. Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur ...

- Purchasing mailing lists

With more than twelve billion catalogs being mailed annually, it's little wonder that marketers are distributing mailing lists anywhere possible. In o...

- Purchasing power of burgers

Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many “Big Mac” hamburger sandwiches the two cu...

- Ice cream flavor galore

A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira's ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chil...

- Why engineers don't write recipe books

Chocolate Chip Cookies: Ingredients: 1.532.35 cm 3 gluten 2. 4.9 cm 3 NaHCO 33. 4.9 cm 3 refined halite 4.236.6 cm 3 partially hydrogenated tallow ...

- What is this?

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. ” Good heavens,” he said,...

- Sorry for eating the peanuts

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few mag...

- An error publishing an article

From Reuters News Service: Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling for on...

- Food fight in a store

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After a...

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