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Best funny Jokes Elderly

Here are the best funny Elderly jokes (99 jokes found):

- Three old ladies are walking down the street...

Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing. One: Whew, it's windy today! Two: No. Today's Thursday! Three: So am I! Let's...

- Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front...

Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands inback. Herb says to Sam, “Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had t...

- An old man is sitting on the park bench crying...

An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another oldman sits down next to him and says, “Mister, what's the problem?” The old man w...

- An old man and an old lady are getting...

An old man and an old lady are gettingready for bed one night when all of asudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells...

- There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment...

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the s...

- Is it worth it?

Minutes before the cremation, the under taker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. “How old was your husband?” he asked. “He...

- One day an older fella was in for a checkup...

One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed. ” Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in ...

- An old man and an old woman were sitting...

An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfasttable on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said, “You know, 50...

- There were three old ladies sitting around the kitchen table...

THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, “I THINK I'LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND T...

- Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test...

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, “What is three times three?”“274, ” w...

- A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse...

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions...

- Don't forget!

An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing waswrong ...

- An old lady lived by herself in a small house...

An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke in...

- Too much attention

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother toa nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well caredfor. The next morning, the nurs...

- Seventy year old george went for his annual physical...

Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, “George everything looks gr...

- What's the worst thing about having to kiss grandma?

What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma? When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head. ...

- Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus...

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the o...

- Bending it further

The old man was saying to his doctor, ” You know, Doc, when I was young, it was as hard as a rock. As I got a little older, I could bend it a li...

- A man was walking down the street when he noticed...

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. ”...

- A use for viagra

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. “How are you grandpa?” he asks. ” Feeling fine,” says the old ma...

- Perfectly good eyesight

Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the se...

- What's the best thing about turning 65?

What's the best thing about turning 65. No more calls from insurance salesmen. ...

- Can't do

” What's wrong, sonny?” asked the old timer sympathetically, coming overto the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart ou...

- Amicable old lady

” Dear Reyer School, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the cou...

- Abe lincoln

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, &l...

- Take in a boarder

An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, and would he have any suggestions. ” Yes,” says the Doctor, &ldq...

- A peculiar dress

Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people's home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run n...

- Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70...

Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70. When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered, “Why should I be upset? Dogs chase c...

- How do you get four old ladies to say the f word?

How do you get four old ladies to say the F word? Have the fifth one say.... BINGO! ...

- A little old lady walked into the bank...

A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, “You can go home no...

- An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by...

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by andeposits a poopy little present on the woman's head. ” Yech!” says the woman. ”...

- A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm...

A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm when one day he walks out behind the barn and sees hisgr andfather playing with himself. The boy says,...

- Willy's rolling down the hall of a retirement home...

Willy's rolling down the hall of a retirement home actinglike he's driving a car, an orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he's doing. Willy re...

- This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on...

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going ?” He said, “I'm going to the d...

- A hearing problem

An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about 20' behind her and asked “Can you hear me sweetheart” ? No reply. Move...

- An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship...

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached...

- Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies...

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies. They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them. ...

- Getting married

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go pa...

- Sweet, sweet road rage

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a youngman in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiti...
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