jokes  
jokesHome jokesRandom jokesAdvices jokesContact
  10000funnyjokes on Facebook

Joke : A parent's night before christmas

Rating: 3.0/5 ( 46 votes )

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the houseI searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.

Instructions were studied and we were inspired, In hopes we could manage “Some Assembly Required.”

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds, While Dad and I faced the evening with dread: A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!

And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat.... Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!

Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

When what to my worrying eyes should appear, But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear, With each part numbered and every slot named, So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out, All over the carpet they were scattered about. ” Now bolt it!

Now twist it!

Attach it right there!

Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!

Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand.”

“Honey,” said hubby, “you just glued my hand. ” And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pactTo keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night With “assembly required” till morning's first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work, Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt. The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thinBefore we attached the last rod and last pin. Then laying the tools away in the chest, We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest. But I said to my husband just before I passed out, ” This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt. Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring, And not have to run to the store for a thing! We did it! We did it! The toys are all setFor the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!” Then off to dreaml and and sweet repose I gratefully went, Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded... I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!

Christmas jokes :

49 funny jokes found

- Christmas jokes - question and answer

Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elf-abet! Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas? A: “I don't like sprouts” ! Q: If...

- On the twelve days of christmas, my true love gave to me ...

December 14, 2003 Dearest Dave, I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn'...

- Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it's raining,&rd...

- Signs you've had too much holiday cheer

1. You strike a match and light your nose. 2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad. 3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you. ...

- Did santa give you that present?

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, &ldquo...

- Enter the pearly gates

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present som...

- Twenty ways to confuse santa claus

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the ...

- A parent's night before christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the houseI searched for the tools to hand to my spouse. Instructions were studied and we were inspir...

- Ten things to say about gifts you don't like

10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit. 9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from m...

- Some musical christmas advice

Make out your Chopin Liszt early before Debussy season, when you have time to check out Verdi good bargains are, can still get gifts Faure good price,...

- The first reindeer seen in a bar

One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, t...

- The strange christmas scene

In a small southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature both...

- The night before christmas for an attorney

Whereas, on an occasion immediately preceding the Nativity festival, throughout a dwelling unit, quiet descended, in which could be heard no disturban...

- Christmas downsizing

Today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy ...

- It was the night before finals

It'was the night before finals, And all through the college, The students were praying for last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, But none tou...

Comment the joke A parent's night before christmas :

Make a link to this joke :

Link on a blog :

 
Find on 10000funnyjokes.com more than 10,000 funny jokes !
©2015 10000funnyjokes.com | Copyright 10000funnyjokes | Contact | Android download | iPhone download
Mentions légales / CGU - Politique de confidentialité