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Best funny Jokes War

Here are the best funny War jokes (42 jokes found):

- A young, freshly minted lieutenant...

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for que...

- A gentler way

At the morning roll call at Fort Dix, the sergeant called out, ” Platoon, atten-HUT! Private Martinez, report to the office. Your brother died ...

- Two men were boasting to each other...

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ” declared one, “that when they ...

- British military officer fitness reports

British Military Officer Fitness Reports The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness reports). The form usedfor Royal Navy and Marines fitness ...

- During the vietnam war...

During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. “Didn't you hear me say that we're ou...

- There is a guy from army driving from west point to the meadowl ands...

There's a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowl ands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowl ands, and an Air Fo...

- A sailor and a marine are taking a piss...

A sailor and a marine are taking a piss at a public restroom. The marine finishes first and washes his hands. The sailor just walks to the exit. S...

- Message from the duke of wellington to the british foreign office in london

MESSAGE FROM THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON TO THE BRITISH FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON written from Central Spain, August 1812 Gentlemen, Whilst marching...

- From one of tom clancy books...

From one of Tom Clancy's books: Commanding officer: “Alright! How about an attitude check???” Crew (In Unison): “I HATE THIS FUCKI...

- A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral...

A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, “Alright, I'll prove the a...

- The company comm ander and the 1st sgt, were in the field...

The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the 1SG said: “Sir, look up into the sky and tell ...

- A good idea

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”“My father said it'd be ...

- The army airborne major was used to harassment...

The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from AirForce fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. “Obvi...

- During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down...

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddyback road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel...

- Young amanpreet never quite got over his miserable...

Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 hejoined the Marines, but old habits die h...

- The master chief was inspecting the barracks...

The Master Chief was inspecting the barracks and he overheard one terrified recruit whisper, “Master Chief Barneshas the heart of a tiny child ....

- Following some duty overseas, the officers...

Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they...

- The new ensign was assigned to subs...

The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise le...

- During an army war game...

During an Army war game, a commanding officer'sjeep got stuck in the mud. The C. O. saw some menlounging around nearby and asked them to help him get ...

- A dog for a wife

It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his firstassignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervo...

- The pentagon decided one day that there were to many...

The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them. They called Congress and a...

- During the world war ii...

During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the ...

- A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers...

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He wentthough the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and hig...

- Red shirt

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew werein danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, th...

- What time is it?

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field andcivilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the controltower in the middle....

- Why did the navy switch to liquid soap?

Q: Why did the Navy switch to liquid soap? A: It's harder to pick up. ...

- As a sergeant in a parachute regiment...

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night timeexcersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He...

- By definition

A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the young Lt. 's green uni...

- What do you call a marine with an iq of 160?

Q. What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160. A. Platoon...

- Why did congress enact the marine corps?

Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps? A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with! ...

- The general went to the doctor for a physical...

The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions age, height, weight, and then he asked wh...

- During the six day war...

During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing alo...

- A company in the foreign legion had spent three years...

A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years in the Sahara desert never having seen a woman. They finally decide to send one private on vacat...

- Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a lieutenant...

Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel's home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was ...

- A british army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial india...

A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. ” Sergeant-Major!” the ...

- Corporal conroy needed to use a pay phone...

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base'scorridor floors, and asked him...

- It was the age when knighthood was in flower...

It was the age when knighthood was in flower. A young lady was pounding away at a piece ofiron with a sledgehammer. Another young ladysaw her and aske...

- A young soldier was making his first parachute jump...

A young soldier was making his first parachute jump. The corporal explained the procedure “You count toten and pull the first ripcord. If the ch...

- A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier...

A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind ...

- A drill instructor at airborne school was...

A drill instructor at Airborne school was lecturing a group of new troops on making a proper jump. He told them: “When I yell Stand Up, you Sta...

- The company sergent is briefing the recruits...

The company sergent is briefing the recruits: “For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I will be your mother. Inc...

- Good sales strategy

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advisednew recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It was...

 


 
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