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Best funny Jokes Travel

Here are the best funny Travel jokes (48 jokes found):

- The subway car was packed...

The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people wereforced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the manbehind her and sai...

- Noisy stuff

Radar: “Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees. ” Pilot: “Roger, but we are at 35, 000 feet, how much noise can we m...

- A businessman boards a flight...

66. A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices...

- Alaskan tourism

If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public serviceannouncement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear ti...

- Magician and parrot

Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed...

- A group of americans was touring irel and...

A group of Americans was touring Irel and. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortabl...

- El delicatassen

Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7” Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... by ...

- The hotel odeon in paris is offering tourists...

The Hotel Odeon in Paris is offering tourists a 'Diana Tour' - a personal reenactment of Princess Diana's last night alive. For $50 extra you can enj...

- Thank you. . thank you very much!

Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Irel and for solong, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curiou...

- Pilot to tower...

Pilot to tower ... pilot to tower ... I am 300 miles from land ... 600 feet over water ... and running out of fuel ... please instruct! Tower to pilo...

- This lady who was living in new york city had to get back...

This lady who was living in New York City had to get back toher old country but she was broke. One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a wo...

- Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs...

Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. “Where's Geo...

- There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane...

There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got ...

- Happens

For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this oneis for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we al...

- A mother and her son were flying southwest airlines...

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines fromKansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said...

- Two retired ladies were on the beach in miami...

Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami. They were discussing the fact that if they gofor a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if t...

- Sherlock holmes and doctor watson are hiking...

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired. Holmes wakes up dee...

- The zen master is visiting new york city...

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to ahot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.” The hot dog ve...

- Bathroom control

One day Pablo and Paco are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Pablo smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turn...

- A great way to spend eternity

A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young coupl...

- The mohel

This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't rea...

- How do you pick up twa flight attendants?

Q: How do you pick up TWA flight attendants? A: With a fishing pole! ...

- Did you hear about the two poofters who went to london?

Q: Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? A: They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock. ...

- A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy...

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travelbag on to the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed tostuf...

- A plane was taking off from kennedy airport...

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached acomfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, &ld...

- A german tourist walks into a mcdonald's in new york city...

A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald's actually does serve beer...

- The fucking lights

Tith the sun beginning to rise, the cabin of the jetliner was suddenly illuminated. “Who turned on the fucking lights?” a male passenger, ...

- My car

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some...

- Two missionaries in africa get apprehended by a tribe...

Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and ...

- Helpful advice for travellers

Helpful advice for travellers: If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you. BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on ...

- Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor...

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, “Just eat two pou...

- Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on...

Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One of the passeng...

- From a southwest airlines employee....

From a Southwest Airlines employee.... “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buc...

- Fly out of genoa

They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa. It's called Genitalia. ...

- Playing tabla

Once a couple were on vacation. The husband was lying on the beach facing downwards on his stomach & the wife was patting him on his butt. He happened...

- A delicacy

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious ...

- A passenger announcement.

This is a passenger announcement. The train on platform one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven and twelve has come insidewa...

- Whatever you want it to be

Q. What do you call the temperature between two west virginians? A. Relative Humidity...

- New driver's license

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them f...

- Lady sunbathing

A Lady was on a business trip. Since she was so tense from all the meetings, she decided she would go to the roof of the hotel she was staying in and ...

- Ocean joke

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved. ...

- Car acronyms

AUDIAccelerates Under Demonic InfluenceAlways Unsafe Designs ImplementedAll Un-informed Drivers InsultedAll Unnecessary Devices Installed BMWBig Money...

- Glazed

A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn't help but noti...

- Clinton vacation

Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station ...

- Far east

Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the n...

- Bad motel

1. The “complimentary” paper tells you that President Kennedy has died. 2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to...

- Haircut before trip

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go ther...

- David beckham

whats the best way to travel to the moon? Transform yourself into a ball and get davidBeckham to take a penalty! ...

 


 
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