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Best funny Jokes Situations

Here are the best funny Situations jokes (174 jokes found):

- Strategy

The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enuff of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to g...

- The newly divorced woman...

The newly divorced woman had never had to be the handyman around the house before, and quickly discovered she was lacking most of the proper tools...

- 37 mating positions

What a rip-off. I went into our local bookstore and saw this huge display with a sign saying “Newly translated from the original French: 37 ...

- How many does it take?

Joe is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Joe, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink a...

- A man decided to have a face lift...

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5, 000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsst a...

- Little red riding hood is skipping down the road...

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the BigBad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf&...

- During ww ii an american soldier...

During WW II an American soldier had been on the front lines in Europefor three months, when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught asupply boa...

- A divorced woman had been on her own for several months...

A divorced woman had been on her own for several months and was starting to get extremely horny. She went to the grocery store and while there startin...

- A yard sale

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn....

- Mrs. schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair...

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, “I wear a wig, because I was b...

- A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf...

A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up ...

- An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea...

An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea with a full complement of sailors. They are stuck there for days and days with nothing to do. One morning the c...

- A man enters a barber shop for a shave...

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. &...

- A cowboy walked into a barber shop...

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, “I'll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather h...

- On a very cold winter night...

On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, “I had a dream that so...

- On a cross-country bus trip...

On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy dueto motion sickness. She make her way to the restroom, only to find itlocked. She we...

- The young mans big mouth

The Young Man's Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and ask...

- Stolen car

Stolen Car A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, “Can I h...

- A closer call

The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get ...

- Embarrassing moments

Embarrassing moments The following are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in New Woman Magazine. 1)” While in line...

- You tell me!

A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to “enforce the laws pending. ” He stopped the hunter, flashe...

- Discovering too late that a...

Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's o...

- A group of third, fourth and fifth graders...

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thorough...

- A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week...

A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls a...

- A bunch of indians capture a cowboy...

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named “Clint” , and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, &ldqu...

- The barber shop

The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around t...

- Doing the right thing

Son : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mum : Well, you have done the right thing. Son : But ...

- A man is walking past this house when a used condom...

A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and a...

- A rookie police officer was assigned...

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some ...

- Spell it

Woman: Two *Achoo! * tickets, please. Clerk: Have you purchased tickets here before? Woman: *cough* No. Clerk: Then I need your address. Woman: Okay....

- Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her...

Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As ...

- This young lady, a flighty young thing...

This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windowsin the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up thisl...

- A man spoke frantically into the phone...

A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”“Is this her first chi...

- Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town...

Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy:...

- A man and his date walk into a very posh rodeo drive...

A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier afterhaving eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills mostexclusive restaurant...

- Free meat

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day whena young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered hisbutcher shop and confronted him with the news ...

- One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world...

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whats...

- Three college roommates two females and a male...

Three college roommates two females and a male beganto argue after dinner about whose turn it was to do the dishes. ” All right, ” one o...

- A woman walks into a tattoo parlour...

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work? ''Why of course! ''Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of m...

- A man walked into the bar and there was a gorilla...

A man walked into the bar and there was a gorillasitting on a barstool. The man asked the bartender what the gorilla wasdoing in the bar so the barten...

- There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer...

There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer. Up walks a so called “lady of the night” . Shesays, “For $300.00, I'll do anything y...

- A guy was attending a masquerade halloween ball...

A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a costume. Suddenly she slapped him hard a...

- These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around...

These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept ...

- Gimme some aspirin!

Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in hisleft eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an...

- Ballroom please!

This guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, “Ballroomplease. ” A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, “...

- Barbie and g. i. joe

Barbie and G. I. Joe A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, s...

- A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down...

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I'm sorry...

- While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new...

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brandnew tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belongto, he slipped it into the pocket o...

- Buy me bras!

” Dad, can i ask you something?” “Sure! What about?” “You see, I'm already fourteen and... I think it's jus...

- A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady...

A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost hiscigarettes. In the middle of t...

- A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road...

A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the win...

- A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late one...

A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneafternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for thehorse as the Indians can alwa...

- A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top...

A man and a woman are on an elevator at the top of the world's tallest building, when all of a sudden, the cablesnaps and the elevator starts plummeti...

- It seems that abe and morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency...

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns d...

- The mortitian arrived at the mortuary one morning...

The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and wasaproached by his assistant. ” Anything interesting happen over-night” , asked the...

- One day pete was complaining to his friend...

One day Pete was complaining to his friend “my elbow hurts. I bettersee a doctor” . His friend said “Don't do that. There's a comput...

- The director of the scottish tartans museum...

The Director of the Scottish Tartans Museum, Dr Michael MacDonaldwas in America. An old lady fixed her gaze on his 17th Centurysporran and asked, &ldq...

- Playtonic relationship

A nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment. ” Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy sp...

- Weill and mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars...

Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their...

- A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy...

A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn't there, and she doesn't want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hosp...
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