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Best funny Jokes Science

Here are the best funny Science jokes (47 jokes found):

- Dihydrogen monoxide: the invisible killer

Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide! Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncountedth...

- Safest way to drive

Safest Way to Drive Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving habits, offers the following advice: The probability...

- Review: the cat in the hat by dr. seuss

Review: The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3.95 The Cat in the Hat...

- Bell labs proves existence of dark suckers

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information f...

- English is a crazy language

English is a Crazy Language From: Charlie IndelicatoLet's face it English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplantnor ham in hambur...

- Scientists decode the first message from an alien civilization

Scientists Decode the First Message From an Alien Civilization... Simply send 6 x 10^50 atoms of hydrogen to the star system at the top of the list, c...

- Night before christmas

Night Before Christmas For Readers in their 23rd Year of Schooling 'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal pe...

- If scientists wrote nursery rhymes

If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes How many can you solve? (Answers below) 1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of...

- A call for more scientific truth in product warning labels

A Call for More Scientific Truth in Product Warning Labels by Susan Hewitt and Edward Subitzky fr...

- Save the yeasts

Save the Yeasts EVERY TIME A LOAF OF BREAD IS BAKED, APPROXIMATELY ...

- Technical night before christmas

Technical Night Before Christmas 'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our p...

- Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin...

Speaking of spelling, here's a news bulletin ........ The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official ...

- Scientists decode the first message from an alien civilization...

scientists Decode the First Message From an AlienCivilization... Simply send 6 x 10 to the 50 atoms of Hydrogen to theStar System at the top of the li...

- New scientific theories i

New scientific theories 4th RunnerUp The earth may spin faster on its axis due todeforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when...

- New scientific theories ii

New scientific theories 3rd RunnerUp- Communist China is technologically underdevelopedbecause they have no alphabet. The lack of an alphabet means t...

- New scientific theories iii

New scientific theories 2nd RunnerUp- The 'Why Yawning Is Contagious' Theory: You yawnto equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change...

- New scientific thoeries iv

New scientific thoeries 1st RunnerUp- If an infinite number of rednecks riding in aninfinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number ofshotgu...

- New scientific theories v

New scientific theoriesHONORABLE MENTION: The quantity of consonants in the Englishlanguage is absolutely constant. If consonants are omitted in oneg...

- New scientific theories vi

New scientific theoriesGR AND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on itsfeet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the bu...

- The three laws of thermodynamics

The Three Laws of Thermodynamics 1. You can't win. 2. You can't break even. 3. You can't quit the game. ...

- How do you embarrass an archeologist?

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. ...

- Buffalo analogy

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are k...

- Handy guide to modern science

Handy guide to modern science: If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. ...

- Three engineering students were gathered together...

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. ...

- Marine biology researchers have developed a new method...

” Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recomme...

- If for every rule there is an exception...

If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule. If we accept “For every rule there i...

- If a tree falls in the forest, and there's...

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's noone there to hear it, does it make a sound? Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows. ...

- An academic problem

An academic problemIn a high school gym class, all the girls are lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Every ten seco...

- What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm...

What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm and a woman's sex life have in common? They're both concerned with how manyinches and how long it will last. ...

- If you cloned henry iv...

If you cloned Henry IV, would he be Henry V, or Henry IV Part II? ...

- First illegal, then legal, then...

A long time resident of San Francisco is packing all his stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & asks what he's doing. “I'm leaving !” ...

- There is 2 fags walking down the beach...

There is 2 fags walking down the beach. They are holding hands andkicking the sand with their feet. One happens to kick a lamp that islying buried in ...

- This one is really disgusting...

Two fags are on a picnic, and the first guy says, “I have to take adumpski, ” and he walks into the woods to do it. Several minutes later...

- Wrong joke

A traveling salesman's car breaks down, and he walks overto a near by farm. He knocks on the door and the farmerappears. ” Excuse me sir, but my...

- How do faggots get a condom off?

How do faggots get a condom off? They fart. ...

- What is the first symptom of aids?

What is the first symptom of AIDs? A hard, deep, pounding sensation in your ass. ...

- A woman orders a chicken sandwhich...

A woman orders a chicken sandwhich and starts to choke. People are running frantically, trying to figure out what to do. Two homosexuals sitting in th...

- How do you get aids from a toilet seat?

Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat? A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off. ...

- Two fags were walking down the street and...

Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy. One fag turned to the other and said, “See that stud there, Bruce?” ...

- A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and...

A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami. “Would you like it sliced, sir?” the shopkeep...

- What's the difference between a whale and a dyke?

What's the difference between a whale and a dyke? Oh, about ten pounds, and a plaid shirt. ...

- Two british faggots were standing on circular quay...

Two British faggots were standing on Circular Quay looking out over the harbour. One of them pointed to a ferry and asked, “Elton, what's that?&...

- A worried patient went to his psychiatrist...

A worried patient went to his psychiatrist. “I'm in love with my horse,” he said. “But that's nothing, ” replied the shrink. &...

- These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for...

These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, “You know man its been a long time since we had so...

- What's the definition of aids?

What's the definition of AIDS? Anally Injected Death Sentence. ...

- What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?

What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil? The white one got away. ...

- What's a transvestite's idea of a good time?

What's a transvestite's idea of a good time? Eat, drink, and be Mary! ...

 


 
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