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Best funny Jokes Religion

Here are the best funny Religion jokes (152 jokes found):

- A wise choice

The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance age...

- Two attorneys went into a diner...

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became qui...

- How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient...

- A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit...

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through wh...

- Satanic barney proof

Satanic Barney Proof Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR Prove: Barney is satanic The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' inste...

- A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist...

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion...

- Sister margaret died...

Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, “This is Sister Margaret. There'...

- Preserving the egg of life

Preserving the Egg of LifeObviously, Football is a syndrome of religious rites symbolizing thestruggle to preserve the Egg of Life through the rigors ...

- Love jesus

Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, ...

- Stress-relieving prayer

Stress-Relieving PrayerLord, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wis...

- An unfortunate coincidence

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. ” Reverend,” she said, “I have a problemmy husband kee...

- Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil...

Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thous and years and he is to select his first punishment...

- Three couples wanted to join a church...

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a youngnewlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, “We have special req...

- Heaven and smoking

Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there. ...

- A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the pearly gates...

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven,...

- Two nuns and a blind man

TWO NUNS AND A BLIND MANTwo nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get...

- The absolved

There was a large nuclear accident and one of the worlds largest cities was totally destroyed. There were millions of people dead it was a real tr...

- Father! father! an old man on crutches walked up...

” Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago, and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw...

- Six people were on a plane...

Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and t...

- Two nuns are walking down an alley...

Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, “Forgive them, Fat...

- Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven...

Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the inspection. The first one says: “I have to confess, I held mans penis in one h...

- Ought to be hung

When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told the man sitting beside her, “I understand this i...

- An old drunk stumbles into a confessional...

An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy t...

- Camel died

Camel Died A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking over the situati...

- Nuns first hot dog

Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this co...

- Pope dies

Pope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjo...

- The hat

The Hat An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and...

- Sister ann, arent you putting on a little weight?

” Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?” inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bul...

- The reverend

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just h...

- Heavenly golf

Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap...

- God will save me

GOD will save me The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said...

- A lutheran minister is driving down...

A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol o...

- The ages of man

God created the mule, and told him, 'you will be Mule, workingconstantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and ...

- A pastor in maine skipped services one sunday...

A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. The pastor stumbled, ba...

- The pope took a philosophy professor...

The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidental...

- What was the first thing adam said to eve ?

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve ?” Stand back .... I don't know how big this thing is going to grow !” ...

- What is the fastest way to get a nun pregnant?

What's the fastest way to get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy. ...

- Whats black and white and red all over?

Whats black and white and red all over? A nun in a car accident. ...

- What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?

What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement! ...

- The wrong definition

Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the 'Bible Belt, 'there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. Onemorning, after a ...

- Rabbi stern rides his bike down the road, when...

Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck careens around =the corner, out of control, and broadsides the Rabbi. Father Flannery watches t...

- Two nuns are riding a bike down a road...

Two nuns are riding a bike down a road and the firstnun says, “I`ve never come this way before!” and thesecond nun says, “Oh, it mus...

- What did the priest say to the nun when he screwed her?

What did the priest say to the nun when he screwed her?” The holy pole is in your hole so wet your ass and save your soul. ”...

- An irish priest and a rabbi found themselves sharing...

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying “I know...

- A rabbi and a priest were sitting together on a train...

A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbileans over and asks, “So how high can you advance in your organization?&rdqu...

- It is written in the bible!

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started a...

- What is an atheists favorite christmas movie?

What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? Coincidence on 34th Street. ...

- What happened to the pope when he went to mount olive?

” What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?”“Popeye beat the shit out of him!” ...

- What do you get when you cross a jehovah witness and an atheist?

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and an atheist? Someone who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever. If God is dead, then what...

- What is the last thing jesus christ said to the teamsters?

What is the last thing Jesus Christ said to the Teamsters?” Don't do anything 'till I get back. ”...

- What causes arthritis?

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seatnext to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face wasplastered with red lipstick, and ...

- What is white and streaks across the sky?

What is white and streaks across the sky? The coming of the Lord. ...

- Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a jehovah witness?

Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? - He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident. ...

- A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident...

A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name ...

- A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when...

A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes andkegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this isre...

- A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue...

A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueacross the street from each other. Since their schedulesintertwined, they decided to go in toget...

- A little sports match

” ... And the halftime score here at the Colleusium is Lions 7, Christians Nothing. We'll be right back after these messages... ”...

- There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the pope...

There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane wasbeing rocked by some severe turbulence. So this k...

- The same thing

A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest, ” I had an affair with a woman... almost.” The priest says, “what do you...

- Sister mary burst into the office of the principal...

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state ofagitation. ” Father!&...
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