Best funny Jokes Religion
Here are the best funny Religion jokes (135 jokes found):
The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance age...
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became qui...
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient...
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through wh...
Satanic Barney Proof Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR Prove: Barney is satanic The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' inste...
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion...
Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately called Saint Peter and said, “This is Sister Margaret. There'...
Stress-Relieving PrayerLord, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wis...
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. ” Reverend,” she said, “I have a problemmy husband kee...
Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thous and years and he is to select his first punishment...
Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there. ...
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven,...
TWO NUNS AND A BLIND MANTwo nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get...
There was a large nuclear accident and one of the worlds largest cities was totally destroyed. There were millions of people dead it was a real tr...
” Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago, and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw...
Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3 children. The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash, and t...
Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, “Forgive them, Fat...
When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told the man sitting beside her, “I understand this i...
An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy t...
Nuns First Hot Dog Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this co...
Pope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjo...
The Hat An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and...
” Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?” inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bul...
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just h...
Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap...
GOD will save me The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said...
A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol o...
God created the mule, and told him, 'you will be Mule, workingconstantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and ...
A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. The pastor stumbled, ba...
The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidental...
What was the first thing Adam said to Eve ?” Stand back .... I don't know how big this thing is going to grow !” ...
What's the fastest way to get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy. ...
What do you get when you cross Holy Water with castor oil? A religious movement! ...
Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the 'Bible Belt, 'there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. Onemorning, after a ...
Two nuns are riding a bike down a road and the firstnun says, “I`ve never come this way before!” and thesecond nun says, “Oh, it mus...
What did the priest say to the nun when he screwed her?” The holy pole is in your hole so wet your ass and save your soul. ”...
There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and offered hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started a...
What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? Coincidence on 34th Street. ...
” What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?”“Popeye beat the shit out of him!” ...
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and an atheist? Someone who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever. If God is dead, then what...
What is the last thing Jesus Christ said to the Teamsters?” Don't do anything 'till I get back. ”...
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seatnext to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face wasplastered with red lipstick, and ...
What is white and streaks across the sky? The coming of the Lord. ...
Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? - He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident. ...
A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name ...
A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes andkegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this isre...
” ... And the halftime score here at the Colleusium is Lions 7, Christians Nothing. We'll be right back after these messages... ”...
There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane wasbeing rocked by some severe turbulence. So this k...
A married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest, ” I had an affair with a woman... almost.” The priest says, “what do you...
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state ofagitation. ” Father!&...
When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he wentout and bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade route. W...
The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withher young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. A twelve-yea...
What did God say after creating man? “I can do better” ...
The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. ” Paddy,” he said, “ I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you i...
A man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed with the preacher's sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand. ” ...
In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The t...
How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize w...
The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the Devil! Let him know how...
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he hass...
Paul says to Jesus, “Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?” Jesus says, “Just hanging around. ”...
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