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Best funny Jokes Relationships

Here are the best funny Relationships jokes (393 jokes found):

- Birth of a candy bar

Birth of a Candy Bar It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the c...

- A loving couple

Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, asher voice was l...

- Love to death

A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of my sterious ailments lack of sleep, no drive, verylittle appetite, nervo...

- Better than sex

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off ...

- Trust thy friend...

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determinedto track down the father to ...

- Jealousy

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. ” Oh Marie,” she said to her maid, “I have reason to suspect that my husband ishaving an affair ...

- Saintly naivete

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. Mysecretary asked me where I got it an...

- Love thy neighbor

The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had tak...

- A strange kind of robbery

Jim had been out on the town with a dazzling blonde, and he was returning home as the rosy tints of dawn began to color the skies. Marshaling all ...

- What trip?

One of those discount airlines recently had a promotion where they offered free air-fare to wives who accompanied their husbands on a business tri...

- Have to

A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, “My God P...

- Orgasmic problems

The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, “How come you never tell me ...

- Made for each other

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-line dating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck and he said ...

- Simple curiosity

My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact ...

- Some explaining...

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their ...

- Some horse-play

The newlywed couple were checking into the hotel. The new groom approached the desk clerk. He said he wanted the best for they were on their honey...

- Repetitiveness

After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice CDs to st...

- Really torrid honeymoon

After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After the...

- Honeymooned!

A young couple from the country honeymooned at a really fancy ocean-side resort. because they knew it would be expensive, they had planned to limi...

- Honeymoon ii

The newlyweds had decided to take Amtrak's “Car Train” to Florida, so they would have the mobility of being able to use their own vehicl...

- The big scare

Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for h...

- Over my dead body!

A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife snee...

- Hope never dies

A man driving outside of Baltimore, Maryl and was southbound on Interstate 95 in the far right hand lane traveling at 55 mph, minding his own busi...

- A fair deal

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside. ...

- The good advice

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ...

- Motivations

Two men are talking. The first sez, “I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shab...

- Following a bitter divorce...

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, “You know, I was a fool when I married you. ” The wife simp...

- Some time after their bitter divorce...

Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, “So... out lookin...

- Pecuniary reasons

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, “Does this fellow have any money ?” The daughter shook...

- The ring

A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At her wedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. None of the ot...

- A lady with a...

A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher. “Are you a friend of the bride ?” he asked. “Cer...

- A reason for break-up

” What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement Pam ?” said her closest friend. “Well, ” Pam confirmed, &ld...

- Marital sex

While making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn't enjoy it. Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly unhappily, their...

- Different treatments

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not ...

- A small mistake

The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board. When she had finis...

- A real dilemma

I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy ma...

- Every damn time

Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband “beats her.” The Judge, want...

- Keeping their marriage together

I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own compute...

- Marriage anonymous

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called “Marriage Anonymous. “Whenever a guy feels like gett...

- Proffessional terms

The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. ” On what grounds ?” questioned the Judge, “Th...

- Housekeepers

Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days who are excellent “housekeepers” . Seems each time they get a divor...

- Mr. schneider stood up in court...

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. ” As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money. ” Glaring down at him, the judge replied, &...

- A bored woman says to her husband...

A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together, “Guess what I have in here and you'll get some loving tonite. ” T...

- Rough

Tell ya what though, I don't have it nearly as rough as one of my neighbors. When he attends a wife swapping party, he has to throw in the maid, a...

- A young married woman...

A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, “Do you talk to your husband when you're making l...

- The definition of kinky sex

I'm not saying that my wife was naive when we got married, but... she thought “kinky sex” involved her wearing hair curlers to bed....

- This snow plow driver from north dakota...

This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she spread th...

- A painful adjustment

Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had ...

- Going further

A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their honeymoon...

- It is all in the money

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite o...

- Exercing control

There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, o...

- On their honeymoon night...

On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, ...

- Say anything

Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around the house. ...

- Inseparable

We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are truly inseparable. Last week, it took four Howard County Policemen and a dog. ...

- Why is it better? . .

Did any of you other married guys out there ever wonder whether it's better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won ? ...

- Nothing changed

On the eve of the couple's tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim wife was bragging about her figure. “You know honey,” she said, &ld...

- One of two reasons

I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot. It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: ...

- The american in hong kong...

The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over supper. ” Get this... ” he chuckled, “That ridiculous janitor o...

- Who exactly are we kidding?

But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer controls the...

- A recent study showed...

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week. Well, yeah, I can believe...
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