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Best funny Jokes Ouch

Here are the best funny Ouch jokes (37 jokes found):

- A young girl sees her father in the shower...

A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. “Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life, ” he tells her, by...

- The definition of a phallic symbol

This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks “Whats a failic symbol? Doctor says “you're kidding.. ” Girl says “no! I ...

- This guy walks in to a bathroom...

This guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a sign that says “put your dick in here, we'll do what your wife does for you&...

- Condom modelling rejection

Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269...

- A man walks into a pub...

The following was contributed by Emil: A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman, ” cor! I've just had my first blow...

- Paying bills

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a prettygirl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?&rdqu...

- Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro...

Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a$100 bet on the side. ” But,” said the duffer, “since you're ob...

- Good fortune

A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG ! He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks....

- The blind date had not been all that great and...

The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said “Hey! ...

- Mirror, mirror

Mirror, mirror A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfu...

- A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar...

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arr...

- A caring son

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. ” Hey Willis!!” the farme...

- I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar...

I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar the other night and said, “Hey, babe, can I buy you a drink?” She said, “Do you like ...

- The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club...

The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club. “Hey, baby, would you help me 'raise my mast'?”“No thanks,” she said sweetly. ...

- Changed my mind!

This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romanticwalk down the street. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll hislustful desires r...

- A really bad, terrible mistake

Fred goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, I want to be castrated. ” Doc says, “Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or...

- A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts...

A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find onl...

- It finally dawned

” How did it happen?” the doctor asked the middle-aged farmh and as he set the man's broken leg. “Well, doc, 25 years ago ...”...

- Ashamed

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two we...

- The third wish

A young man fell in a pit one day, and found a magic lamp with a genie inside of it. The genie said, 'I will grant you three wishes. ' The man's first...

- A little girl was walking along a beach in california...

A little girl was walking along a beach in California when she came across a man with no clothes on and just a newspapercovering his genitals. The lit...

- A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes...

A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his newterritory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, andbefore s...

- A game of golf

A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. “We...

- St. peter meets mother theresa at the gates of heaven...

St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, “You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo. ” Mother Theresa is wa...

- How did captain hook die?

Q: How did Captain Hook die? A: Jock itch. ...

- Lorena bobbitt had just cut off her husband's penis...

Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband's penis. She was driving down the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to toss ...

- Ouch!

OUCH! A couple hobbled into a Washing ton emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had her...

- A big bird

Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet abov...

- A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt...

A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was d...

- A dentis appointment

Two guys are susposed to meet at 4: 30. Charley shows up at 4:30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5:00, Paul shows up andCharley says, “Where have...

- What's pink and slowly turns red?

What's pink and slowly turns red? A baby chewing a razor blade. ...

- Think quality

A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hys...

- A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home...

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag hi...

- I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with...

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?” ...

- Little mermaid

Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hell...

- What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?

What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?” Chop chop. ”...

- What's worse than being raped by jack the ripper?

What's worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook! ...

 


 
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