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Best funny Jokes Miscellaneous

Here are the best funny Miscellaneous jokes (4692 jokes found):

- Twas the night after christmas

'Twas the Night After Christmas'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube ...

- Growing wild

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires h...

- Fuck for a duck

A farmer sent his 15 year old son to town and, as a birthday present, handed him a duck., “See if you can get a girl in exchange for this,&rdquo...

- 10 ways to know you've had good sex

1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge. 2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies. 3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is...

- A scrote

In a check out line the other day and the couple were arguing about whose turn it was to pay. The clerk was kind of listening until she heard the lady...

- Why studying is better than sex

10. You can usually find someone to do it with. 9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off. 8. You can fi...

- Kneasels

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and beg...

- Afternoon quickie

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son ...

- Who's this guy

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, h...

- A favor

I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I ca...

- Always been a doubt

A man is talking to his best friend about married life. “You know,” he says, “I really trust my wife, and I think she has always bee...

- After the office party

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the precedin...

- Bedroom golf

* Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one club and two (2) balls. * Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the h...

- Check your dirty iq!

Questions: 1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? 2. A finger goes ...

- Difference between men and women

1. A man will pay 2 dollars for a 1 dollar item he wants. A woman will pay 1 dollar for a 2 dollar item that she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries ...

- How many women

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past. ” C'mon, tell me, ” she asked for the thous and...

- Lifetime savings

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the f...

- Grilling remarks

A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was be...

- First visit

The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family. “We've bee...

- Popular guy

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and adozen donuts. ...

- Low sperm count

A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me bac...

- God's gifts

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and ...

- Genius boyfriend

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. “I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it.” &l...

- Making love to a woman

MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. ...

- Excuse me, your fly is unzipped

1.” The cucumber has left the salad. ” 2. ” Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. ” 3. “Yo...

- First thing to do after jail

Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the c...

- Math lesson

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read: “Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs whic...

- Crowded subway

The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and sai...

- Loving on the lawn

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighbourhood. Suddenly he realised there was a couple making love out on the lawn...

- Off to vegas

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going! ', said th...

- Daughters are curious

A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness. Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment t...

- Tricked him

One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends. She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees. Th...

- Speeding

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer: May i see your licence? Lady: what do...

- 16 years later

One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children. Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to lea...

- What women would do if they had a penis for a day

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America. 9. Get a blow job. 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. 7. Pee standing up wh...

- What men would do if they had a vagina for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do...

- Making love to...

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a nurse or an airline stewardess? A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we ge...

- Dead pussy

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dea...

- Gorilla chase!

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to...

- Farmer joe and his mule

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In co...

- The rude parrot

Marilyn had a parrot for a pet, but the parrot would embarrass her whenever she came into the apartment with a man. He would shout all kinds of obscen...

- Misbehaving guide dog

A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg. The man reached in his pocket and to...

- Impressive hunting dog

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. S...

- Donkey raffle

Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day....

- Meals on wheels

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful s...

- Matador special

A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called “Th...

- Make my horse laugh

There once was this bar with a sign in its window. It read, anyone who can make my horse laugh will have all the drinks they want on the house. So thi...

- Idiot chicken farmer

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred ch...

- Hung like an elephant

This little boy is visiting the zoo with his father. They stop to have a look at an elephant and the kid just stares at it in fascination. Eventually ...

- Helping to clean the dishes

Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog. When asked why by her former employer, sh...

- Getting excited at the zoo

It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, ...

- Fur fortune

Mike and Bill, are hanging out in the lone bar in a one-horse town in northern Idaho, when a local rancher walks in carrying a wolf pelt. ” Good...

- Frog, warts and all

A bloke walks into a pub with a frog on his head. The bar attendant asks. “What's that on your head? The frog says. “I don't know, it sta...

- Flying turtle

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and cr...

- Fleas

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea? A: Shall we walk or take a dog? ...

- Farmer and the pretty lady

One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped...

- Elephant and man

What did the elephant say to the naked man? “It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?” ...

- Ducks in heaven

Three women die in a car accident and go to Heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the Gates and welcomes them saying “you can do as you please in He...

- Dragging your feet

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly,...

- Dirty birds

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thin...
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