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Best funny Jokes Men

Here are the best funny Men jokes (120 jokes found):

- The only wish

Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in themiddle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of prov...

- Guyness quiz

Guyness QuizTake This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien being s from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you a...

- Some people are sitting in a bar...

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, “My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG. ” Another guy says, “What's that?” The...

- How many men does it take to open a beer?

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. ...

- What makes a man think he is so great?

What makes a man think he's so great ? 1) He has a belly button that won't work. 2) He has tits that won't give milk. 3) He has a cock th...

- The first engineer calls out to the other...

The first engineer calls out to the other, “HeyNice bike! Where did you get it?”“Well, ” replies the other, “I was wa...

- When i was in jr. high, all i wanted was a girl with big breasts...

When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breasts... In high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no passion.. So I d...

- Ideal drinking age

AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 beer 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox...

- Ideal seduction line

Age Line 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25. My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35. My fiancee is away for t...

- Did you hear the one about the guy who had five penises?

Did you hear the one about the guy who had five penises ? He had a pair of underpants that fitted him like a glove..... ...

- Two buddies get together and decide to...

Two buddies get together and decide to go to a who rehouse, one of them tired ofdoing it with his wife all the time, the other not having it done for ...

- How do you get a man to do situps?

How do you get a man to do situps? Glue the TV remote between his ankles... ...

- What kind of clothes are there?

What kind of clothes are there? women: clean & dirtyMen: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty , biohazzard. (Men will...

- How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus?

How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk... ...

- What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, and clitorises?

What do men have in common with toilet bowls, aniversaries, andclitorises? They miss them all. ...

- Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? breasts don't have eyes...

- Why is an impotent man like a christmas tree?

WHY IS AN IMPOTENT MAN LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE? -THEY BOTH HAVE BALLS FOR DECORATION...

- How do men exercise at the beach?

How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. ...

- Did i tell you i had this woman pounding on my door all night last night?

Did I tell you I had this woman pounding on my door all night last night? Yeah, I finally let her out! ...

- A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks...

A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As the bartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the otherone on his hand. He orders two more drin...

- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sitin a boat and drink beer all day. ...

- At a texas university, a professor had been teaching his...

At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students humanreproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: “Female humans are b...

- Men come in three sizes...

Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and Oh My God!!! ...

- How is a man like a snow fall?

How is a man like a snow fall? -You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. ...

- Have you heard the one about the...

Have you heard the one about the .... ... recent survey on cigarettes which found that 90% of the men that tried Camels still prefer women. ...

- What is the definition of ultimate rejection?

What is the definition of ultimate rejection? Your hand falling asleep while masturbating. ...

- A fortunate twist of fate

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possess...

- The mastercard commercial all men are waiting for

THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FORCover charge: $15.00 Round of drinks: $23.00 Table dance: $ 30.00 Another round of drinks: $23.00 Cou...

- Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?

Why do men pay more than women for car insurance? Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. ...

- The way to a heart of a man

The way to a man's heart is through his feet(but you need a long knife). ...

- Once some boys got together to play poker...

Once some boys got together to play poker one night, after about 4 hours of playing, Tim had severe chest pains and suddenly slumped over, one of the ...

- Why a man cannot eat like a bird?

Why can't a man eat like a bird? Have you ever tried to pick up food with your pecker?...

- Why do men like blonde jokes??

Why do men like blonde jokes?? Because they can understand them. ...

- How many men does it take to pop popcorn?

How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two to show off and shake the stove. ...

- How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? - No one knows. Its never happened. ...

- Fatherly feelings

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw...

- What is a mans idea of foreplay?

What's a man's idea of foreplay? -A half-hour of begging. ...

- How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

How can you tell soap operas are fictional? - In real life, men aren't affectionate in bed. ...

- How do men sort their laundry?

How do men sort their laundry? “Filthy” and “Filthy but Wearable” . ...

- Lots of words

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving. They'd be wrong, but you could still use them. ...

- Men are like...

Men are like... Men are like animals: messy, insensitive andpotentially violent, but they make great pets. ...

- There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men...

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men: “don't” and “stop” . ...

- Man walks into a supermarket and buys...

Man walks into a supermarket and buys : 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single s...

- How do you scare a man?

How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. ...

- What food best describes a man?

What food best describes a man? Jerky...

- Why did god give men larger brains than dogs?

Why did God give men larger brains than dogs? So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. ...

- These two guys had just gotten divorces...

These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided...

- Two confirmed bachelors sat talking...

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “...

- Whats the difference between pink and purple?

Whats the difference between pink and purple? Your grip. ...

- How many honest, intelligent, caring men...

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? -Both of them. ...

- Is he still wrong?

If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no womenaround to hear him, is he still wrong? ...

- The bachelor diet

The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallowsome toothpaste while brushing your teethLunch - Send your secretary out...

- Another costume

A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, “I'm going to acostume party, I want to go as Adam.” The girl brings outa fig leaf. He says, &ldq...

- What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind 2. No business. ...

- Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for men?

Q: Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for men? A: It changes their blood type. ...

- Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things?

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things? He has an Adam's apple that isn't an appleTwo calves that will never become cowsA nose brid...

- If fathers have father's day, and mothers have...

Q: If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day, ? what do single guys have? A: Palm Sunday. ...

- How does a man show he's planning for the future?

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one. ...

- Why do men die before their wives?

Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to. ...

- Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire...

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall talesbeg...
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