Best funny Jokes Job/office
Here are the best funny Job/office jokes (36 jokes found):
These are from actual resumes: “Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs. “I am extremely loyal to my pre...
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINTRun one ...
TO: ALL PERSONNELFROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of...
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in wh...
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named &ldqu...
Baxter Conners Vice President Company 203203 Wall St. New York, NY 10015 Dear Mr. Conners, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful c...
These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:
1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experie...
Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual exp...
” Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. ” Yes, Sir. ” the new recruit replied. “Well...
MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can'...
New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90's Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was r...
The job security quiz will help judge how long you'll end up at your current job and what will become of you. The boss appears at your cubicle and fin...
Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done” . Qu...
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill h...
” You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...... “You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What's this?” , you ...
RE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.&rdquo...
Thoughts and stories from on the jobMy boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, “Is this what you get pai...
USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK: I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizi...
Top 25 Engineer's Terms and Expressions (What they say versus what they mean)A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing ...
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. ...
The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre. Ca...
How careers end... Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are disti...
What does your profession say about you?
1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in colle...
Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords The toilet is blocked and we cannot ba the the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done t...
Casual Fridays: Week 1 - Memo No. 1.Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual atti...
An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was cra...
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't i...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking...
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular ...
TWELVE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. T...
HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shop...
Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
15. ” They told me at the blood bank this might happen. ”
14. ” This is jus...
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. ” Boss,” he says, “we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and...
Today's Stock Market Report: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up s...
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
- Old actors never die, they...
There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all. How...
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