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Best funny Jokes Job/office

Here are the best funny Job/office jokes (36 jokes found):

- Mistakes on a resume

These are from actual resumes: “Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs. “I am extremely loyal to my pre...

- Play the office game

Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINTRun one ...

- Identifying wasted time

TO: ALL PERSONNELFROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of...

- Want a day off work?

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in wh...

- Have incredible dogs

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named &ldqu...

- Application rejections

Baxter Conners Vice President Company 203203 Wall St. New York, NY 10015 Dear Mr. Conners, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful c...

- The resume bloopers

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine: 1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experie...

- Unique job interviews

Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual exp...

- Have a life after death

” Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. ” Yes, Sir. ” the new recruit replied. “Well...

- Murphy's work laws

MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can'...

- Company buzz words

New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90's Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was r...

- The job security quiz

The job security quiz will help judge how long you'll end up at your current job and what will become of you. The boss appears at your cubicle and fin...

- The office happenings

Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done” . Qu...

- Pay for your past bills

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill h...

- The last day working

” You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...... “You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What's this?” , you ...

- Evaluating employees

RE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.&rdquo...

- Thoughts from work

Thoughts and stories from on the jobMy boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, “Is this what you get pai...

- Useful work phrases

USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK: I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizi...

- The engineer's terms

Top 25 Engineer's Terms and Expressions (What they say versus what they mean)A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing ...

- Selling war insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. ...

- Work for an operator

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre. Ca...

- How all careers end

How careers end... Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are disti...

- Describe professions

What does your profession say about you? 1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in colle...

- Letters to a landlord

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords The toilet is blocked and we cannot ba the the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done t...

- Changed hr policies

Casual Fridays: Week 1 - Memo No. 1.Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual atti...

- Old local blacksmith

An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was cra...

- Drummer problems

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't i...

- Pick a starting salary

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking...

- Boss wants too much

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular ...

- Never say it at work

TWELVE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. T...

- Workplace insanity

HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shop...

- Sleeping on the job

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 15. ” They told me at the blood bank this might happen. ” 14. ” This is jus...

- Must help the wife

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. ” Boss,” he says, “we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and...

- Stock market report

Today's Stock Market Report: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up s...

- An old occupation

What happens when people of different occupations get old. - Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. - Old actors never die, they...

- Photographer works

There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all. How...

 


 
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