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Best funny Jokes Job/office

Here are the best funny Job/office jokes (32 jokes found):

- Mistakes on a resume

These are from actual resumes: “Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs. “I am extremely loyal to my pre...

- Play the office game

Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINTRun one ...

- Identifying wasted time

TO: ALL PERSONNELFROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of...

- Want a day off work?

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in wh...

- Have incredible dogs

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named &ldqu...

- Application rejections

Baxter Conners Vice President Company 203203 Wall St. New York, NY 10015 Dear Mr. Conners, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful c...

- The resume bloopers

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine: 1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experie...

- Unique job interviews

Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual exp...

- Have a life after death

” Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. ” Yes, Sir. ” the new recruit replied. “Well...

- Murphy's work laws

MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can'...

- Company buzz words

New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90's Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was r...

- The office happenings

Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done” . Qu...

- Pay for your past bills

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill h...

- Evaluating employees

RE: Quotes Taken from actual performance evaluations: “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.&rdquo...

- Thoughts from work

Thoughts and stories from on the jobMy boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, “Is this what you get pai...

- Useful work phrases

USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK: I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizi...

- The engineer's terms

Top 25 Engineer's Terms and Expressions (What they say versus what they mean)A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing ...

- Selling war insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. ...

- Work for an operator

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre. Ca...

- How all careers end

How careers end... Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are disti...

- Describe professions

What does your profession say about you? 1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in colle...

- Letters to a landlord

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords The toilet is blocked and we cannot ba the the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done t...

- Changed hr policies

Casual Fridays: Week 1 - Memo No. 1.Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual atti...

- Drummer problems

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't i...

- Pick a starting salary

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking...

- Boss wants too much

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular ...

- Never say it at work

TWELVE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. T...

- Workplace insanity

HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shop...

- Sleeping on the job

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 15. ” They told me at the blood bank this might happen. ” 14. ” This is jus...

- Must help the wife

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. ” Boss,” he says, “we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and...

- Stock market report

Today's Stock Market Report: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up s...

- An old occupation

What happens when people of different occupations get old. - Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. - Old actors never die, they...

 


 
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