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Best funny Jokes Irish

Here are the best funny Irish jokes (79 jokes found):

- There goes another one

Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: “Mick! I lost me finger!”“Have you now?&rdqu...

- Scorcher murphy

Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful read...

- Humor about the irish

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guiness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman s...

- Trapped in a bog

Barty was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. ” Help!” Barty shouted, “Oi'm sinkin'!” Don'...

- Jokes about irel and

Pat and Jimmy-Joe met and one said to the other, “Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?” Pat said, “Well, I have and I haven't. ”...

- Pat and jimmy-joe

Pat and Jimmy-Joe met and one said to the other, “Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?” Pat said, “Well, I have and I haven't. ”...

- Barty and dunny

Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. ” Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid he's goin' to die.&rdqu...

- Irishman went to a pet shop

Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. “We have 99” replied the shop owner “Give us the lot” sa...

- Jokes about st. patrick's day

Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy ...

- Paddy and seamus

It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt'n behind Seamus on the bike began to h...

- Humor about st. patrick's day

Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What's wrong, Seamus?” Paddy as...

- I live in the flat above paddy

A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, “What's your name and address?”“I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address.”...

- Mcquillan walked into a bar

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with o...

- Spitting in the vase

” Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?”“No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time !” ...

- The doctor was puzzled

The Doctor was puzzled “I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink.” “Don't worry about it ...

- His wife had been killed

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergea...

- Leprechaun jokes

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops ou...

- Humor about leprechauns

An aging man lived alone in Irel and. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old ma...

- Irish jokes in a pub

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up : “You're making' out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughtta pun...

- I'll tell them slowly

” Hey,” said a new arrival in the pub, “I've got some great Irish jokes.” “Before you start,” said the big bloke i...

- Two irishmen

Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a shopping trip to Paris when the captains voice came over the loudspeaker. ”...

- He'd wanted to be buried at sea

There is a story about the Irishman who drowned while he was digging a grave for a friend. He'd wanted to be buried at sea. ...

- You want a divorce

” Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?” the solicitor questioned his client. ” Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?”...

- Murphy won the irish sweepstakes

Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100, 000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through des...

- Spanish singer julio iglesias

Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manyana'. Diamond asked him to explain what i...

- Humor about irish pubs

(Setting the scene, Ballymun outside of Dublin has a reputation as a rough spot) Fifteen minutes into Aer Lingus Flight EI 109 from Madrid to Dublin t...

- An american tourist

An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, &l...

- You can blow up the tyres

A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop. He says to ...

- Michael hoolihan was courting frances phelan

Michael Hoolihan was courting Frances Phelan. The young couple sat in the parlor of the girl's house night after night, much to the annoyance of old m...

- Higgins lived in staten island,

Higgins lived in Staten island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferr...

- Liam had left dublin

Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving, Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer. What happened said the farmer, ...

- Walking holiday in irel and

A man was on a walking holiday in Irel and. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in...

- Some scientific exploration

Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m a...

- Casey mccarthy

Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorel...

- Fulfill a lifelong dream

For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerl and to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared t...

- Short irish jokes

Q: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic? A: It has a 12 month waiting list. Q: What's long & green & has a low I. Q. ? A: A St. Patric...

- Blind farmer

The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward...

- Young man

” Young man,” said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. “It's alcohol and alcohol alone that's responsible for your present ...

- The local district judge

The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had bee...

- Monahan stumbled into a saloon

Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. ” Say,” he said to the bartender, “how tall is a penguin?”“About two and a...

- Paddy was an inveterate drunkard

Paddy was an inveterate drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave him a strong lecture about drink. He said, “If you continue drinking as y...

- A surgeon and an architect

A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profession was the oldest. Said the ...

- Some years ago

Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and se...

- The american tourist in dublin

The American tourist in Dublin had been complaining a great deal about the food. ” Here,” he said to the waitress holding out a piece of m...

- The boston taxi driver

The Boston taxi driver backed into the stationary fruit stall and within seconds he had a cop beside him. ” Name?”“Brendan O'Connor....

- The origin of the bagpipes

The origin of the bagpipes was being discussed and the representatives of different nations were eagerly disclaiming responsibility for the instrument...

- Irish author brendan behan

This is a true story of the late Irish author Brendan Behan who one night collapsed in a diabetic coma in a Dublin street. It was at a time when he wa...

- Three old ladies

Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy day. The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty in hearing each other. “It's w...

- Two irish friends

Two Irish friends greeted each other while waiting their turn at the bank window. ” This reminds me of Finnegan, ” remarked one. “Wh...

- Believing in leprechauns

Hennessy wasn't a very good looking fellow to start with. Now his business had failed, and his wife and family had left him. Depressed and distracted,...

- Hilarious humor

” And how's yer wife, Pat?”“Sure, she do be awful sick.” “Is ut dangerous she is?”“No, she's too weak t' be ...

- Didja hear the news

” Didja hear the news?” asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. ” Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!”“Bartender! ...

- A mean looking woman

Mrs. Ryan, a mean looking woman, claimed her husband was not thoughtful. In this she was wrong; her husband thought about her too much. One morning on...

- Murphy and his wife

Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They say down on a bench to rest. They overheard voices coming from a seclud...

- O'toole volunteered

O'Toole volunteered to take care of his numerous children so that Mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and...

- How much of that stack

” And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh?” the priest asked at confession. “I might as well confess to the whole...

- Boyle sat in a belfast confessional

Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. ” Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he said. “I've blown up three hundred miles of English ...

- Father murphy met casey

Father Murphy met Casey in the street and Casey admired his new umbrella. Father Murphy said, “Thank you, but I'm not sure I got it honestly. It...

- Father murphy walks into a pub in donegal

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Fa...

- I've got the lumber

O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bothe...
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