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Best funny Jokes Comedian

Here are the best funny Comedian jokes (18 jokes found):

- Trick or treat

I never actually grapsed the whole “Trick or treat” ultimatum. Giving candy to grateful, adorable children or receiving a bag of flaming a...

- Surgery

I had my appendix removed. There was nothing wrong with it, I just did it as a warning to the other organs in my body to shape up or they're out of th...

- Hmo

My HMO is terrible. They charge me for a self-examination. It's a flat fee. -Wendy Liebman...

- Gas stations

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? -George Carlin...

- Taxes

The IRS says they can't give back 80 million dollars in refunds because they don't have addresses for the taxpayers. Yeah, they can't find you when th...

- Irs

The IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you're allowed to claim two or more chins ...

- Psychic phenomena

Do you ever get the vuja day feeling? Not deja vu. This is vuja day: the strange feeling that none of this has ever happened before-George Carlin...

- Protesting

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it. -Mitch Hedberg...

- Escalators

An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator temporarily out of order” sign, just “Esc...

- Environment

The EPA is conducting a $700, 000 dollar study to see if Alaskan trees are polluting Oregon forests. You can tell Republicans are in power. ” Po...

- The guy who invented the hokey pokey's funeral

eariler this week i went to the guy who inveted the hokey pokey's funeral. It was a weird funeral. First they put his left leg in, then took his left ...

- Paddy

I knew this guy. He was a sound guy from Irel and. He spoke to me one day and told me he was going to apply for a job. He told me that he walked out b...

- My dog

Having a dog is great, it's just the 'dog people' that freak me out. ” Oh, look at her, she's precious, just like Mommy. ” Me?!? If I birt...

- Gas station

Have you ever seen Pop Idol? One point it was held at an esso gas station. This irishman came on to do a song. He stoodnext to the diesel pump, lit t...

- Inflatable high heels

I once met a dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date butunfortunately she'd popped her clogs. ...

- Drown my troubles

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my wife to go swimming! ...

- Pray for a bike

When i was a kid i used to pray for a new bike. But then I realised that the lord doesn't work that way, so i stole one and asked him to forgive me! ...

- Marmite competition

I was in a good mood last week. I entered a competition and won a years supply of marmite..... one jar! ...

 


 
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