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Best funny Jokes Children

Here are the best funny Children jokes (165 jokes found):

- A six year old comes crying...

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “Don't be angry, ” the Mother says, “Your littl...

- A young teenager comes home from school...

A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where ...

- The grade 1 concert is fast approaching...

The Grade 1 concert is fast approaching and Johhny has still not decidied what he will do. Little Mary is going to do a piano solo, Timmy will recite ...

- Little johnny had become a real nuisance...

Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His f...

- Little johnny is coming home from the store...

Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket. Along come Priest Joe and...

- Mom took little johnny to the doctor...

Mom took little johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis. Doc. said, how did such a thing happen? Johnny said, “It's that damn neig...

- History through the eyes of the eighth graders

The following is a “history” collected by teachers throughout theUnited States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, a...

- A little girl and a little boy were at day care...

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?” He says, &ld...

- Backward santa

As a little girl climbed on to Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open m...

- What were michael jacksons baby first words?

What were Michael Jackson's baby's first words? Which one's Mommy? ...

- Old enough for cursing

Two brothers, ages 6 and 8, decide they are old enough to start cursing. So they plan to use dirty words the next morning at breakfast. The 8-year-old...

- A little girl came running into the house crying...

A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. “...

- A wish for christmas

A wish for Christmas It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup. He has a line of kids li...

- The irs letter...

THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal...

- There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market...

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that...

- The real treasure

An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resis...

- Strict school

It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year...

- Little johnny was in class again...

Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone “Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?” Meg puts up h...

- Little johnny walks into his primary school...

Little Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher “Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and ...

- Little johnny says to his mother...

Little Johnny says to his mother “ Mommy, I have to go and tinkle. ” The mother replies back “ Would you like Mommy to take you?&rdq...

- Little johnny comes home from school...

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the diffe...

- One day, little billy comes home from kindergarten...

One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to chec...

- This guy and his girlfriend are fighting...

This guy and his girlfriend are fighting.... she says “I'm breaking up with you.” “Why??” he asks. She says “because...

- Buckwheat lets the cat outta the bag

Buckwheat Lets the Cat Outta the Bag One day the little rascals were sitting in school. The teacher walked in, and said, “good morning cla...

- The hazards of kicking the cat

The Hazards of Kicking the Cat There was a little boy with a bad attitude. He was at home one day doing his chores. He was feeding the chickens ...

- Little johnny being logical

Little Johnny A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10.year old little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman sa...

- Puppy love

PUPPY LOVE A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father ...

- Winnie the ????

” Winnie The ????” It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student ...

- The wisdom of youth never give up

The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier an...

- A word play

A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and w...

- This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a little johnny...

This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny wearing a red firefighter's hat and sitting in a red wagon which is being pull...

- One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm...

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a...

- After church on sunday morning, a young boy...

After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up. &rdq...

- White hoose

I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he said we could discuss it tonight...

- How do you keep the neighborhood kids off your front lawn?

Q. How do you keep the neighborhood kids off your front lawn? A. You molest them! . ...

- One day in class the teacher...

One day in class the teacher has sex education. On the black board she drawsa penis then asks the class if any of them knows what it is. In the back o...

- Once when mary was young her school...

Once when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for themmary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume shewent into the fam...

- Little johny being literal

Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad's do for a living. Little Mary says: “My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail. &rdq...

- Earn it hiking

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike? ...

- When i stopped the bus to pick up little five year old chris...

When I stopped the bus to pick up little five year old Chris forpreschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. “Is that y...

- A necessary condition

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpap...

- A circumcision

Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home fromschool. Danny says “I won't be going to school tomorrow.” “Why not?...

- One day shortly after the birth of their new baby...

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to goout to do some err ands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch hiswonderful ne...

- A man was taking his wife...

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Upon regaining consciousness, he...

- Little johnny catches his parents going at it...

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, “Hey, Pop! What are you doin'?” His father says, “Son, I'm filling your...

- One day the teacher decides to play an animal game...

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her han...

- A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group...

A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and sa...

- Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu...

Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so wellduring the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exa...

- Who signed the declaration of independence?

A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students.” Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?” He said, “Damn if I know. &rdq...

- Charlie was playing with his little brother mickey...

Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. ” Sure you can, Mickey, ”...

- What is pink and red and sits in a corner?

What is Pink and Red and sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade. ...

- One sunday morning the pastor noticed little johnny...

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of...

- Matering checking

Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account. “The bank returned the check you wrote to t...

- Little johnny is in class. the teacher...

Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They getto “W...

- A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children...

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, ...

- Finding the right answers

Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question to ask and that he should...

- What is the difference between boogers and spinach?

What is the difference between boogers and spinach? You can't get your kids to eat spinach. ...

- A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to a...

A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to adrawing he was doing with varicolored crayons. His motherfinally looked over his shoulder, a...

- Late one night, little johnny woke up to the some loud noises...

Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noisescoming from his parents' bedroom. He got out of bed and walkeddown the hall towards his p...

- What are you doing, tommy?

Vicar: Whats that you're doing, Tommy? Tommy: Sticking bangers up frogs arses, Vicar. Vicar: Rectum, Tommy. Tommy: Blows 'em to fucking pieces, Vicar!...
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