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Best funny Jokes Business

Here are the best funny Business jokes (68 jokes found):

- The corporate boat race

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and...

- The results of a government study

For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment. They have concluded...

- Lawyers arrive in japan

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful e...

- Stop being late to work

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't d...

- The boss tells some jokes

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl lau...

- The accident report

Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put “poor pla...

- The work qualification test

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same ...

- Bosses versus workers

When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he's to...

- Looks bad on resume cover letters

1. I'm really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good. 2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked f...

- The copy machine handout

In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finall...

- The procrastinator's creed

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find ex...

- Reasons to leave work

1. Not spending enough quality time with the kitchen applicances. 2. Came dressed in only a towel... again. 3. Ran out of paper clips. 4. I've...

- Reasons to stay at work all night

1. Act out your version of a company takeover. 2. Find a way to change everyone's password to “chrysanthemum” . 3. Around 3:20am, pl...

- Keeping a high profile in an office

Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you're ready. Don't sit down to talk. The acoustics are ...

- Why did he fire you?

Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you?” Replied the second, “Well, you know how ...

- Japanese management lecture

Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they...

- Those who don't know

The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who know are no problem. Those who don't know are also...

- Who is doing the work around here?

The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do t...

- The requirements of this job

Employer: “In this job we need someone who is responsible. ” Applicant: “I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything w...

- A tight travel budget

All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy. Memor andumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Po...

- The ten ifs of employment

1. If it rings, put it on hold. 2. If it clunks, call the repairman. 3. If it whistles, ignore it. 4. If it's a friend, stop work and chat. ...

- Repairing the phone

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission....

- How you made money

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth...

- Telemarketers go away

How to Make a Telemarketer Go Away 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask,...

- Nerds versus jocks

An answer to the eternal question “Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?” Michael Jordan will make over $300, 000 a game: $10, 000 a minute...

- New element was found

Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new ...

- Equation of earnings

The EquationEngineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that e...

- Lost in a balloon

Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two bal...

- Main vice president

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally...

- Fake two dollar bill

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50...

- Paying in advance

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what ha...

- Bad japanese economy

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news ...

- Travel in a sailboat

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted...

- Wealthy investors

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, “I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried ...

- Bank customer service

” I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she l...

- A walking economy

This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, “I'm a walking economy.” The friend asks, &...

- I'm at the wrong bank

Letterman's Top Ten Signs You're Doing Business With The Wrong Bank 10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other. 9. After you get a f...

- Newest atm machines

” The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. You're gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw y...

- Daughter in college

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100, 000 to pay for his daughter's college education? As the policeman, who al...

- Investment counselor

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she n...

- Buy machine factory

An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thous and men...

- Business one-liners 01

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new...

- Buying your ticket

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the ...

- Stockbroker at i. r. s.

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, t...

- Accountant in heaven

An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name. After ...

- Businessman is dying

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, “Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.&rdq...

- Hiring an accountant

Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his educat...

- Did you pay taxes?

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “Mr...

- Accountant and farmer

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, “I wil...

- Counting some sheep

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and so he decides to go to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night, ” com...

- Finding accountants

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, “Didn't your company hire a new accountant a f...

- Why study economics?

Top reasons to study Economics 1. Economists are armed and dangerous: “Watch out for our invisible hands. ” 2. Economists can supply it ...

- Question and answer

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to gue...

- An economist's speech

The following is supposedly a true story. An economist was about to give a presentation in Washing ton, DC on the problems with Black-Scholes model of...

- Poem about economics

If you do some acrobatics with a little mathematics it will take you far along. If your idea's not defensible don't make it comprehensible or folks wi...

- An economist's logic

A party of economists was climbing in the Alps . After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning i...

- Economist valentines

Top economist Valentine's Day cards 4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding dropoff in consumer enthusiasm. 3. Le...

- Economics ruins life

Economics is ruining your life when... - I tried to calculate my 3 year old son's discount rate by seeing how many sweets he would require to be pro...

- I have a big problem

Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit. Boris says to Bill, “Bill, you know, I have a big problem. I don't know what to do about i...

- Talking on the plane

Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government travelers, they were assigned the cheapest seats on the pla...
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