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Best funny Jokes Blonds

Here are the best funny Blonds jokes (237 jokes found):

- I want to buy that

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes,...

- Are you really sure?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before...

- Blonde car accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car...

- Rowing your boat

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned t...

- Blonde sky divers

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still no...

- Question and answer blonde jokes

Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douc he and shake her upside down. Q: How do you ch...

- I'm going ice fishing!

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear t...

- Guess who knows the state capitals?

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, “go ahead, ask me any of the c...

- Did you hear about the blond?

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice? Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the &ldqu...

- Do you realize what i am?

Do you realize what I am? A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, “Don't you know I'm Po...

- Don't give us a bad name

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad t...

- Your kid has been kidnapped

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child...

- You've got mail

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this...

- Make it off the island

There were three people str anded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainl and and estimated...

- Blondes change a lightbulb

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb....

- One wish to each

Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp. After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, “I...

- What type of prize did you win?

A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of ...

- Let's take a trip to disney

Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida. As they approached it and got on to the final stretch of highway, they saw a...

- How many sheep do i have?

There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, g...

- I can't breathe without that

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head. “I need to take that walkman off your head,” says the beauty s...

- Shortage of parachutes

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all ...

- Turn back your car odometer

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340, 000 miles on it. She dis...

- The blonde test taker

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares a...

- Mind telling me the time?

BLONDE: “Excuse me, what time is it right now?” WOMAN: “It's 11:25PM. ” BLONDE: (confused look on face) “You know, it's ...

- First experience horse riding

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the ta...

- Unlocking your car

Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue: Blonde One...

- Buying drinks at a bar

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: “I'll have a B and C. ” Bartende...

- Do you see the dead bird?

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning. Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. ” Awww, look at the dead birdie,&rd...

- Slot machine winner

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She...

- I deserve a first class seat

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to c...

- Helping a blond lose weight

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure f...

- Fallen bridge

A blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river. The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridg...

- Want me to paint for you?

A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support...

- Why are you yelling that?

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down ...

- Do you know where you were going?

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but...

- Clean those restrooms

On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES. ” By the time she drove eight miles, she ...

- What's in the bag?

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde robbed a supermarket. As they were stealing, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening. He d...

- Three blonds on death row

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and th...

- How do i get across that river?

A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in fi...

- Blond medical terminology

Artery Study of paintingsBacteria Back door of cafeteriaBarium What doctors do when treatment failsBowel Letter like A. E. I. O. UCaesarean sectio...

- Question and answer blond jokes

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs? A: To avoid the draft. Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because ...

- I want some milk

Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk. When Alan rea...

- Buying a new farm

A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00. Then, the blonde decided to purchase ...

- Pillsbury dough boy

what do you get when you cross the pillsbury douhg boy with a blonde?? a whiney bitch with a yeast infection...

- Blonde and the coke machine

This blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and out comes a drink. So she puts some more change in and pushed anot...

- Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going th...

- Blonde and screen door

What do a blonde and a screen door have in common? The more you bang them the looser they get. What is the difference inbetween a blonde and a brick?...

- Blond alligator shoes

Young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Florida. She wanted to > > take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way.... but was > > ...

- Blondes and turtles

What do turtles and blondes have in common? If they're on their back, they're screwed! ...

- Blonde's memo to her boss

TO: BossFROM: BlondieRE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K ...

- Blonde's medical exam

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparin...

- Blonde weighs baby

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs,...

- Blonde and hairdresser

A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman t...

- Blonde and the postman

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at...

- Blonde and the bowling ball

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. A2: You can't fit the blonde in t...

- Blonde and the washing machine

Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week. ...

- The three wishes

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all str anded on an island. One day they found a genie and he said he would grant them three w...

- Blonde q and a's

Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine? A: “Daddy! can I go to Miami! Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already wri...

- Blonde kidnap

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed ...

- Some more blonde q & a's

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 ...
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