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Best funny Jokes Aviation

Here are the best funny Aviation jokes (37 jokes found):

- Those raccoons are not luggage

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their bagga...

- What just happened here?

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their car...

- What was the problem before?

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concer...

- There was a place crash in pol and

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Pol and. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 3...

- There's a parrot on the plane

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squaw...

- The top twenty flight advertising slogans

1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you. 2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings. 3. Join our frequent near-miss program. ...

- Results of damage testing

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun th...

- Trouble with plane engines

While cruising at 36, 000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and a passenger looked out the window. ” Oh no!” he screamed, “One of the en...

- There are lawyers on the flight

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergen...

- Flying without a parachute

A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken. He doesn't know anything about parachu...

- A blind pilot is flying this plane?

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpecte...

- Don't be on this flight

” This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We ...

- The whole world could be happy

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their succe...

- Are blind pilots flying?

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot an...

- There is a blond on the plane

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boa...

- Air force one crashes

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got th...

- The blind skydiver

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I ...

- Boarding from what gate?

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address sy...

- The christmas airport

It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky r...

- The plane is crashing into the ocean

Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: “Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat b...

- Top things you don't want to overhear over an airline p. a. system

1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floata...

- The loss of engines

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Clevel and. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the ...

- Half off these tickets

USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR depa...

- A plane flying in the 1930s

In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. &r...

- The world's smartest man?

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions. Suddenly, th...

- Fear of bombs on planes

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoye...

- Real flight announcements

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaini...

- Airlines running operating systems

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them. DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides...

- An emergency landing

According to “The Australian, ” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency land...

- Scary organization

The most dangerous organization in America today is: a) The KKKb) The American Nazi Partyc) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club...

- Story of my friend

I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said “Hi Jack. ” He shot me. ...

- Dream flying planes

Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a ...

- Blonde goes flying

A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her ...

- A skydiving lesson

All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any...

- Training the blonde

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arri...

- Teaching the child

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter...

- International airline

Acronyms for International AirlinesItalyALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In ArrivalALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In AustraliaBr...

 


 
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